Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
