Whod you bang
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
