dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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