dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
