U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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