she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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