I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
