he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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