there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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