Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
