YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
