You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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