wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
