im about as happy as oj after his trial
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
