considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
