my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
