yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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