Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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