Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
