She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
