p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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