Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize