4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
