All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
