ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
