she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
either way he was missing a nipple.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
