I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
