Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
