gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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