Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
