I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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