i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
