I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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