The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
