after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
