Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
