A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
