Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
