I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
