im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
