Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
