How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
