This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
