I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
