rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
