D3 body, D1 cock
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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