don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
