I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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