I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
