I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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