He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
