Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
