Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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