I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
