Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
