He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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