That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
