She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
