No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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