My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
