Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you had me at cake vodka
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize