Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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